The moth on the curtains in my room still hasn't fallen, it's been there for two weeks now, just hanging by the one leg. I watched it die I startled it on entering my bedroom, it flew into the curtain where it became entangled in one of the vertical threads. It thrashed about for about 5 minutes, every violent flutter amplified to a disturbing volume in my silent, double glazed room. Then it paused. It was almost as if it were reassessing the situation. Coming up with a plan. I waited with anticipation as to its next move. 10 seconds 20 seconds just the antenna twitching 30 seconds What was it going to do? What was its decision I waited and waited one minute after all this time the moth had still failed to come up with a solution. Doomed by it's own stupidity, cowardice and rash decision making The moth new it had to stop, but lacked the ability to know what to do next is this evolution? will a moth one day stop and know what to do? would another moth have acted differently? This moth did what I expected it to do after 1 minute and 20 seconds. It started violently fluttering and hopelessly tugging at it's ensnared leg. I refused to free it, this was natural selection in progress. compassion and empathy have no place in Darwin's theories. It took 12 hours to die. I've left my window open again tonight with the lights on in my room. I'm hoping the dead moth will serve as a lesson to other moths, they can learn from it's death.
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"I don't blame Jane for leaving me. I must have cheated on her about 7 or 8 times in our first two years of marriage alone. I had a woman in every nature reserve and national trust park in Britain, i was a celebrity and took full advantage. I remember once doing a peace to camera about a particularly interesting fungus for a kids TV show, whilst a young park ranger sucked me off under the desk. You don't forget days like that" - David Bellamy. Taken from the excellent autobiography My Life and other animals More extracts to follow, watch this space.
Booze-chimp reared his ugly arse yesterday evening. I was not surprised to see him take the reins, he'd been trying to seize power shortly after the third pint of Stella in the greyhound. He then made me drink vodka which empowered him greatly.
I remeber talking alot, but not really what i was saying. It seemed very important at the time so i wish i could remeber. Booze-chimp makes some good points now and again.
I woke up this morning shaking, but not hungover. My heart was racing, and i could feel the alchohol stew in my head had marinated my brain to an overly large size. Nothing to worry about though. i knew i'd be fine by 10 o'clock.
I started to read on the bus on the way into work this morning but felt very sick so had to stop. I then had a massive anxiety attack because the bus driver was being arsey about people paying the right fare. I had only paid a pound, and i knew full well that i should have paid £1.30. The thought of any type of confrontation in my fragile state at this time was overwhelming. I knew I wouldn't survive. Luckily, he didn't confront me and the anxiety and heartburn subsided shortly after i got into work.
My nan thinks i should go to the doctors. She says that its not right for someone as young as me to look like i do all the time. She blames it on the lack of fruit and vegatables in my diet. I blame it on the 20 sovreigns and 7 lagers i consume daily-but i don't tell her this. I just nod. She always proudly announces that she hasn't ever had a headache in her life and she's never been drunk. I sometimes think it would be fun to spike her tea and get her drunk, but the ethics of spiking a 78 year old's tea stop me. I might get booze-chimp to do it for me one day though. I think she would enjoy it.
for the past five weeks i have been making an effort to sit upstairs on the left of the bus (in the evening) and on the right (in the morning), by the window. I've been watching a family of ducks each day in the Tame river. The babies, or ducklings, are not far off as big as their mother now, and are happily chomping weeds that have grown in in the hot weather we've just had.
They don't seem to stay as close to their mother anymore. The mad scramble to be as near as possible to her has subsided. They are content to stray, still keeping her insight, their downy fluff has now been replaced by a proper set of feathers.
I like the Tame river in Witton. Its the only variable on the bus route. Some times the river is high, and some times you can see almost two feet of pebbles to the waters edge on the first meander. It always amazes me that you can never predict the height of it no matter how much rain we have had. Sometimes there are rabbits too, not in the river but eating grass at the side, right in the middle of an industrial estate.
Today has been a good day. 4 pints at lunchtime is always good, trying to walk past my boss without them noticing how 'wonky' i am and how much i'm sweating is not a pleasant experience, but a necessary one never the less. I've sat here for nigh on 4 hours now and have done nothing. This is not a good thing as my work load is over flowing, my in tray looks like an IRA bomb has gone off in Staples.
Work is interesting at the moment. I don't even listen to client's anymore i just grunt at them, sometimes they catch me out and ask me for advice. Imagine that! me, a consumer advisor, being asked for advice! I normally tell them i'm new, and that i'm sorry but i can't help them, or that they need to speak to trading standards/The citizens advice Bureau/a solicitor [delete as appropriate]. These excuses are now running thin. I really want to be a lorry driver more than ever at the moment. Just me and the road. I could do that really well, no people to speak to, nobody but a taco graph to answer to.
I'm going to drink this weekend. Like most weekends, i won't remember what i've done, and i get some solace from that. I like to imagine that the person i create through booze is better. The spychimp i know and control simply takes a step back and has a quick sleep while Booze-chimp takes the reigns for a few hours. He seems to know what he's doing most of the time, when i drift in and out. Even if he went mad, i doubt that i could stop him, he's rather determined and I’m quite scared of him. He tends to prey on the weak which i don't like about him. I sometimes think that the stronger booze-chimp gets the weaker spychimp becomes. Booze-chimp is winning though. I also wonder what would happen if they ever met each other? would Booze-chimp and Spychimp get on, i doubt it. I think booze-chimp would hate Spychimp and there would be an argument. Its really weird. They know each other so well, yet you never see them together.
I'm going home now.
I wonder if the river will be up tonight? probably not. I’ve stopped trying to guess.
Its only sodding monday and i'm thinking of more ingenius ways to escape reality for a brief period at the end of the week.
I really need to start taking drugs. My kidneys and liver have soaked up most of the abuse, i feel its only fair my brain and other organs take some of the punnishment away from them. Prehapse i'll try snuff this weekend. Micheal Winner swears by it.
Mercury rev The Dandy Warhols The White Stripes Weezer Jane's Addiction Pulp The Strokes Foo Fighters The Von Bondies Muse Ash The Hives Slipknot Prodigy Jetplane Landing
I also saw several others but feel my review may be somewhat biased by the effects of drugs and alchohohol to give a critcal, fair and acurate review... On saying that so might the reviews i'm about to do.
Mercury Rev 8/10 Ah sweet Mercury Rev. What a nice bunch of lads.Great songs great sound love em.
The Dandy Warhols 5/10 Quite frankly, boring as shagging Spazcat. I hate their hippy shit, and all their good stuff is overplayed. Won't be seeing them again, although i'm bound to jump around like a right twat to '...last junkie on earth' at some point in the near future.
The White Stripes 8/10 Lovely. John Peel, now in his twilight more senile years, seems to think this brother, sister thing is a good thing. Wrong. I respect them as musicians, (well Jack at least), but having this kind of a 'relationship' with your sibling is utterly unacceptable. No basist and a drummer who can't drum, tut tut.
Weezer 9/10 Super. played the hits, loads o stuff off their 1st album. Rivers had clearly been on drugs because he got the day wrong, the band on afterwards and where he was all incorrect.
Jane's Addiction 2/10 Cock rock with a capital cock ... and rock for that matter. bunch of arse.
Pulp 9/10 What can i say. Jarvis Cocker is probably the most perfect human being who has ever lived, not that cunt elvis priestly, or whoever he was. graet show, played the hits, splendid performance all round.
The Strokes 8/10 What can i say, they were good. Trouble is they were so good they could have just played the record as they were spot on. The only blip was when that 'guided by voices' git came on to ruin a song for some reason, he promptly fucked off though and it soon got back on track. Its getting trendy to knock the strokes, but they are good though, let them not become a sterophonic.
Foo Fighters 8/10 Rocktastic. was on the rail at the front, i could smell Dave and chums. Seemed to go on a bit though and they only got it going in a few songs, have been better when i've seen em b4.
The Von Bondies 4/10 Boring. all their songs sound the same and it pissed it down whilst they were on so i have to deduct marks for that as well. Not even the presence of Jack stripey white helped them. Go write some songs you abba you.
Muse 7/10 Ok. Matts voice ropey as a thick piece of string. got it together in parts then went all shit again. Have to say its a miricle that i can remember any of it though as i was cunted.
Ash 9/10 WOW. Fucking ace!! i didn't expect that, did you? possibly the best band i saw all weekend, they just had some thing ... or i'd had something, can't remember which.
The Hives 7/10 Genious. What a great show, music a bit dog eared, and there is no excuse for this when its so simple, thus the low 7.
Slipknot 10/10 ----- shit my ass!!! jesus H Christ would have had trouble putting on a better show----
Prodigy 8/10 Didn't see much of them as i was too busy looking at eds dancing. sounded good though.
Jetplane Landing 8/10 Remember the name people. fookin top.
I'll write a review of all the weekend at some point. bye 4 now.
Leeds has come and gone and to be honest i think its Reading everytime for me.So, I find myself at home listening to Ash and wishing i could retire from work. As usual there are many things to say on Leeds, Me and Ed$ were present at the "riot of 500" if thats thats the terminology the police use to discribe a few 18 year old Slipknot fans hurling 6 bottles at them for being there in the first place. Call in the Army next time i say. Or just hit eds again.
has anyone ever lived in Moseley?? Whats it like??
think i'll go and wash my car. Don't let me forget to put up the Stuart at the Sanctuary story at some point.
It has become a sad fact that i live each year for three days living like a refugee in Yorkshire, or whatever northern bloody county Leeds is in.
Today was much like any other day apart from the fact that i couldn't find my trousers this morning. A small thing you might think, but it almost reduced me to tears, i hadn't realised what a fragile state my mind i am in, i must take more care not to get so stressed. It is hard when theres 5 minutes to leave to catch your bus and your running round the house, in just your pants, accusing everyone from my mum to the binmen of stealing them. They were in my bag in the end if anyone cares.
I'm going to do fuck all at work tommorow and pend everthing until i'm away so all my collegues will curse my name under their breath, as i'm lieing face down and semi conscious in a field in Leeds, how beautiful.
Had one of the most frightening nights of my life last night.
After going round to liz's at about 9 last night, we decided that a Cantonnese meal was in order. I was sent off with 20 notes in my sky rockey to purchase said meal from the local Ruby. After browsing the menu i decided on a couple of starters including Yuk Sung, i checked in the usual way to make sure that there was no nuts in any of the dishes and proccedeed to order.
Liz took to mouth fulls of the Yuk Sung and left the room. Being hungry i thought nothing of it, writing it off as a call of nature. About 5 minutes later she came down stairs and looked terrible. Her face had got a rash and her lips were double their normal size, she was also coughing and sneezing. She went to bed after taking a couple of her usual allergy tablets and ibuprofen. After about an hour she was much worse. We were literally watching her getting seriously ill. her whole body was shaking and she was in really bad pain. After looking on the Internet we realised that she had started to go into shock and the hives that were developing ment she was seriously allergic and that this condition could be potentially fatal. At 12:30 we decided that she had to go to hospital. We arrived, and even though the waiting room was full she was seen immediately by the Triage Nurse. I waited in the main waiting room and saw some horrific sights.
The first was a guy who was absolutely plastered. He smelt like shit and was stinking out the whole waiting room, he had pissed himself and there was a puddle under the chairs. Another guy was in his 70's and was also drunk beyond oblivion. His head was bald and was rotting, he must have weighed 5 stone. His flys were open and he also stank. There were the usual gangster wankers hanging around, as there always are in City hospital. Fucking dumbass bastards.
I decided to go outside for my last ciggy after waiting for an hour for liz to come out, it was now about 1.30 to 2ish. A bloke came over to me after i had finnished asking if he could have one. i appologised and said it was my last one. He got quite pissed off and told me 'not to give him that' and offer to pay a pound for a fag. I showed him my empty packet and apppologised again. He then decideds to initiate a conversation about the fact his mum had literally died 2 minutes ago and he'd just walked out. He was in a right state and i couldn't think of anything to say to him. I really hate it when that happens. He carried on for about 10 minutes about his brother was on the way up from London and that he didn't know what to do.
After another half an hour at 2.30 / 3 ish, i decided to go for a piss. On my way their a woman stopped me and asked me if i was alright. I thought this was quite nice as i relaised i felt and looked like shit as i'd prity much gone to hospital straight from bed. She then said 'Gareth isn't it?' and i relalised it was One of the panel who interviewed me on tuesday for my dream job, fucking fantastic!!! I explained that my Girlfriend had got a nut allergy but felt like i was making an excuse for the fact i loved hanging around at A&E wards at 3 in the morning. FUCK!!!!
I decided enough was enough and i relly didn't want to stay in this waiting room full of piss stained tramps and potential employers any longer. I went to the reception and asked about liz. They told me she was waiting in admissions, well thanks for telling me! and that i could go through and see her. I went past the security doors by tailgating a doctor in a hurry, and proceeded to ask a nurse where liz was. She told me to follow her after looking on the computer and took me down a corridor to a ward labelled "POST RESUSCITATION". I can honestly say i have never painiced as much in my life. I bust throught the curtain and was seriously concerned. Liz had been wired up to serveral machines and looked worse than ever. Her face was bubbled with red hives all over and she looked so weak, i was really frightened.
She was in quite good spirits although in alot of pain. They had injected her with all sorts of shit and wanted to see how she responded. The Doctor came in a few times to check on her and wouldn't admit her. Finally after about an hour she fell asleep, and you could literally watch the hives disappearing on her face. She slowly got better and they discharged a very tied liz, and an even more tied me at 5.30 this moring.
Liz is ok now, shes still a little weak but if any of her symptons come back she has to go back.
The moral of this strory is don't eat Yuk Sung if you have a nut allergy.
I've just got back from an interesting evening with Eds, Rob and Emma. We went to the Beggars Bush and had booze, it was ace. Have come home and found out my dad is going on strike next wednesday due to a pay dispute in his factory, they are all working to rule at the moment and there will be a picket line and everything on saturday to stop them from employing agency machine operators. I won't go into the reasons behind this strike as its probably going to be all over the news, but it could really fuck up LDV and Land Rover. I must admitt that I really do support this as my dads company have really been fucking their workers around, this strike action basically stems from the fact that American workers have been given a pay rise and British workers haven't, even though British workers have a considerably lower wage in real terms and the American side of the business has not made any profit whereas the British side has. Fuck those Capitalist bastard Yanks, land of the free my arse, the revolution WILL come, and it will happen, i believe through the internet.
No longer can media giants rule and advertise as they please. I'm sure every bastard in Whitehall and The White House would like to control the net, but for the first time in history information is free, uncensored and more importantly unsponsored. The interenet is the biggest threat to electoral dictatorship, for the first time in history we have freedom of speech. We have the ability to voice opinion as a collective rather than individuals. We should not take this for granted. We should embrace it and push the boundaries as far as possible. The internet is still an infant. its true power is not yet realised as people still subscribe to their place in the world order, to advertising and culture, they don't think outside their 'Box'. As the internet becomes a more powerful medium attitudes will be questioned, people will start to ask questions that can not be avoided or dodged by politicians. The very fact that people actively lie on the internet only empowers it, it makes people question it. The public lap up the tit-bits of biased news the BBC and other companies deem to see fit to throw them as gospal ... god i'm drunk. Night night! xx
I'm still not too sure how to go about writing this blog as its all very confusing and i'm spoilt for choice as my brain has come up with many thoughts recently, i feel like a paedo in mothercare, i have no idea which way to run.
I'll start by telling you about my day today. I woke up at 6:30 in Bearwood, Thats in a house not the high street, and decided i couldn't be arsed to have a wash as it all seemed a bit pointless as i'd only be wearing the same clothes as yesterday, which always smell worse if you have a wash. I didn't bother shaving either, as all my razors have gone rusty due to the damp. I caught the 120M from outside Mike Draper Fruits. i was lucky and managed to get a seat to the rear of the bus, for some reason the bus driver was in a rush and decided not to stop at my regular stop instead i ended up having to walk all the way from the bottom of Corporation Street back to Priory which was a right pain in the arse, at least i got ciggys three and four in for the day though.
The morning passed without incident. 12 o'clock came which ment lunch. I like 12 o'clock lunches as the canteen is always empty, and there is always some of the 'hot roast' left for a baguette. I managed to get my usual seat by the window over looking the new building site opposite. One of the most interesting parts of my job over the past 6 months has been watching the building site at lunch times. After noticing that two more layers had been added to the concrete at the bottom i settled down with my Tandoori chicken baguette, McCoys Chilli Crisps and Sunkist Tropical to enjoy my book.
After half an hour i decided to go and have a ciggy outside, i decided against a second in favour of a shit. After getting back to my desk (late as the shit had taken longer than i'd allowed) conversation got better between my collegues and myself. Sex became the subject. The usual office one-up-manship occured, each person tring to out do the last. "I had sex in a swimming pool" "Thats nothing. I had sex in a swimming pool and nearly drowned bacause my orgasm was so awsome" "That all?! I had sex on stage at manumission in Ibiza in front of 10,000 people who were all cheering" "Thats shit! I had four blokes at once in the audience for Terry Wogan... and it was all on tele..." You get the gist.
Unfortunately our team got reported and we all got told off. I managed to stay awake the rest of the day by imagining the usual horrific scenes of pain i hope for my manager, and before i knew it i could go home.
The most confussing part of my life for the past couple of days has been the relocation of the 107 stop to Upper Bull St. Carrs lane was always good because only the 107 and 113 went from the one stop and i was simple to que all the way past dorrothy perkins if the bus was late. With the new position of the stop many buses leave from that particular stand and know one seems to have worked out an effective method of queing. This ment i was severly tutted at today by old people when i barged to the front because the que had gone all the way round the back and i hadn't noticed. The journey back was very hot and i sweated more than usual. As i was on the bus i mentally kicked myself as i forgot to check whether or not the 120 was supposed to stop at the stop it had sailed past this morning. i'll have to look tomorrow now.
I hope to use this blog as both a diary and as a thought provoking tool. Not all of these thoughts will be good. Some will be down right wrong. Others will make you want to question your entire belief system, some may die, but clearing the weak from our midst is an essential part of my plan. Back in a bit.
